Sam was different. Unlike most people of his generation, he did not strive for money or fame or power. He strove for truth. That made him an outsider, but because he was a much-respected college lecturer, he was not victimised for his so-called eccentricity.
He had a wife, a son aged five, and a daughter who was three years old, all of whom he loved very dearly. His was a happy family except that he felt that he was caught in a society that was increasingly gravitating towards consumerism, a trend that revolted him.
One day an idea struck him; it surfaced recurrently in his mind, taking shape till he knew that it was time to act. It would be difficult, very difficult, probably the most difficult thing he had ever done, but he would have to do it! The Buddha had left his young wife in the pursuit of Truth, and in a movie he had seen they had shown the saint Sri Chaitanya doing the same. He also remembered the words of Jesus: ‘Whoever comes to me cannot be my disciple unless he loves me more than he loves his father and his mother, his wife and his children, his brothers and his sisters, and himself as well.’
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He believed in the unity of all religions, and his reading of various sacred texts suggested to him that if he took the plunge into pursuing spirituality full-time, unseen forces would come to his aid, which would include the safety and security of his family. Did not Jesus say, ‘Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and the rest shall be added unto you?’
So, like the Buddha, he left his family, leaving a letter explaining why he had taken this step.
He left behind a considerable amount of money for his wife. Four years passed. His search led him to monasteries and to temples, to ashrams and to hermitages. He stayed in one place for a month, in another for two weeks, in a third place for half-a-year. He was earnest and there was something to learn everywhere, but he did not quite find what he was after.
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He felt let down. He wondered what it was that differentiated his pursuit from that of the saints whose footsteps he had tried to follow. In his mind and heart, his family beckoned him. He decided to return home…
He walked up the steps that led to their front door. A man answered the doorbell. From somewhere behind, a girl shouted, ‘Daddy, Daddy, who’s come?’ and a woman said, ‘Don’t shout after your daddy like that, it isn’t good manners!’
Sam froze. He recognised the voices. He couldn’t speak, he just gaped. He realised he had no one but himself to blame. How had he expected Time to stand still for him? Swirls of emptiness engulfed him. He held on to the door to keep himself from falling.