Essay on Dowry System: A Curse Or The Social Devil Dowry
Dowry system is a curse on our society. This system was applicable in all civilizations and religions that did not permit division of parental property between the daughter and the son equally. Dowry system has become a greed for many parents, despite the fact that governments have regulated equal rights for girls in the parent’s property.
At least a dozen women die each day in kitchen fire, and some are harassed and victimised. Some commit suicide due to extreme sufferings and mental tortures for not paying repeated demands of dowry. Only a few cases are brought to justice.
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The son has become a saleable property that parents want to sell at the best. The dowry system was something originally purposed for the independent wealth of the bride in a time when she was unlikely to work outside her home or for any mishap. Like many customs and traditions, time changed the original meaning and purpose.
While the dowry system is still in place, it has become more of a ‘bride-price’ system. The parents of a baby girl must come up with a respectable dowry. If a good dowry is not made, the girl is unlikely to have a ‘good’ match.
A good match for a very poor family might be marriage of their daughter into a slightly better financed family or a good match for a middle- income family might be finding a husband who is a doctor or engineer. As you might have probably guessed, there are very few brides who actually retain their dowry after marriage.
In the most honorable of families, the bride is allowed to keep certain items for her own use, such as the bed and cooking pots she is supposed to bring with her, apart from the jewellery.
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There are families who will use the bride’s dowry as their own. The bride’s dowry will be recycled for the groom’s sisters’ dowry.
Sometimes, the groom’s family uses the bride’s dowry entirely for their own means. There have been horrible, true stories of the groom’s family agreeing to a particular dowry, and after the marriage, a new demand for more dowry from the bride’s parents emerges.
Threats of divorce are often used to harass the bride’s parents to give more dowry. In a country where shame is brought down on the divorcee, parents of the bride do whatever they can to save their daughters from this shame. Occasionally, the threat of physical violence is used.
Even if the bride’s parents are not able to continue doing so, the bride is either sent home in shame, or sometimes killed in an ‘accident’.
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It is not surprising that the number of female-feticide is extremely high in India. Interestingly, this is happening in Indian culture, which places high value on females. The girl child is the lifeblood, pride and honor of the family, but the abortion rates of female baby is also sky high.
Parents are advised to educate their daughters as times have changed. In the present world, education has more value in the employment market and many fields have been opened or women to become entrepreneurs. Amount of dowry may be invested for her secured future.
Girl’s parents should help by reporting to government or concerned authorities about the dowry demands. Marriage with such boys should be discouraged as demand of excessive dowry means they do not want girl but money. This can result in extortion after marriage by torture.
All dowry receipts and payments as dowry need to be recorded with marriage registration authority to help in case unwanted incidents or separation occurs. Only with the courage of parents we can remove this curse from our society.